Feeling Festive (& Why It’s Okay if You Don’t)

We all know Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year – we’re told it repeatedly in songs and movies, and it’s traditionally a time of joy and happiness. When you’re young, it’s easy to tap into the excitement and keep that Christmas spirit going, but sadly it doesn’t always work that way in the real world. Although Christmas can bring some lovely things, it’s still winter, and the stresses and strains of daily life don’t just disappear because it’s December. We’re surrounded by this idea that Christmas means happiness, and it can be very easy to feel like there’s something wrong with you if you don’t feel it too.

I’m not noting this to dwell on the negative, but merely accepting that just because it’s Christmas, everything doesn’t have to be perfect. In previous years, and for various reasons, I just haven’t felt that ‘festive feeling’ that comes along with this time of year. I’d been so fixated on finding that feeling, and the subsequent feelings of disappointment for not getting there, that I ended up moping and before long Christmas was over, and I hadn’t done half the things I’d wanted to do. I spent so long waiting for everything to feel like I thought it should, that the time had come and gone before I’d realised.

Just because your Christmas season doesn’t feel all sparkly and magical, doesn’t mean it won’t be enjoyable. In waiting to find that festive spirit, you can spend the whole of December hoping for it to come along and miss all the fun in the process! There are so many reasons why you might not feel as merry and bright as you think you should, and it’s really not the end of the world if you don’t. I wanted to write this post to share that its completely okay to not feel that festive cheer. Your Christmas will be just fine without it, providing you don’t waste the time pining to feel magically happier than you do.

December doesn’t have to be a month of complete joy, but it is a good excuse to make the effort to change your mood if you want to. Don’t expect to feel magically different, but do take time to be a little kinder to yourself. Use it as a time to do things that make you happy. Spend time with those you love, and take time doing those extra special little things, just for the sake of it. Bake festive cakes to enjoy with friends and family. Put up decorations, light candles and watch silly old movies. If you have some time off, enjoy the break and rest.

Whatever you do, dwelling on not feeling as happy as you think you should be will not make things any better. Use this time of year to do the things you want to do, be kind and patient with yourself, and focus on the little things. It’s okay to get through the season your own way and at your own pace. Whether you feel completely wonderful, or you’re just getting by, either is absolutely fine, and you’re doing the best you can!



  • Ah, I feel you. I don’t pressure myself on holidays festivity. I think of it as a time that we should enjoy and we need to put the pressure of from ourselves.

  • Lovely, true and wise words. Merry Christmas. XxX

    Keep Calm and start writing ~

  • Being okay with how you feel is so important! // Also the bokeh in your tea is gorgeous -Audrey | Brunch at Audrey’s

  • This is such a great post. I hate it when I don’t feel christmassy but it’s much worse if you try and force it!!
    a life of a charlotte

  • I always feel like a “Grinch” because I’m not a “Christmas person”. I hate Christmas music and most Christmas movies and I don’t have anyone to do fun Christmas activities with so I just want the holiday to come and go as fast as possible. Reading this post made me feel better about not feeling festive. ♥


  • Miriam Khamis

    Oh so well said, now I adore Christmas, not the glamorous parties and ‘fun’ everyone else seems to have because I don’t gt invited to those, does anyone? do they only exist in films? I enjoy the excuse to stay on my sofa and be self indulgent, reading books. The only family i have is my mum and my 6 year old but we are a perfectly formed small family and i try and enjoy the quiet during days off, I enjoy not having to commute to work, I see it as a time of rest. x

  • yes to all of this! i know for a lot of people (myself included) christmas is anything but happy when it comes to finances because of gifts. i’ve stopped giving (and receiving of course) gifts in the holiday season and i’m just SO much happier not having to worry about it, and i can spend that effort into having quality time with my family and friends.

    becky @ star violet

  • This is such a lovely post! I’ve definitely struggled with my MH throughout December which has left me feeling guilty as I’ve not really experienced any Christmas joy at all. But I am trying so so hard not to get caught up in it, and just focus on spending time with my loved ones and doing this I enjoy

    Abi | abistreetx