*edit – I wrote this on Wednesday night, planned to publish on Friday morning but after the events of Thursday night onwards, it didn’t feel right. Had it been written today, my thoughts on this month (and my language) may have been more choice and colourful…
Somehow, inexplicably, it’s nearly the end of June. Halfway through 2016. It’s a strange month, where everything feels up in the air. We’re in the process of moving, at least we’re trying to, which could be the explanation, but it doesn’t seem to be just me feeling the strange winds at the moment. I’m not sure if it’s the dreaded referendum, the weather or just this time of year, but I’m looking forward to settling into some normal days soon. Hopefully July will bring fewer storms and a little more sunshine, but thankfully June has at least blessed us with some colour. I found all of the petals in the above picture in my city garden (patio), so that’s a little ray of sunshine in an otherwise fairly grey month.
Alongside the fog that has sunk down over Brighton throughout the last week, it feels as though there’s a fair amount of it in my brain too. You may have noticed that this is the first post in nearly two weeks, for which I’m blaming a fairly heavy dose of writer’s and photographer’s block. A combination of medication woes and repeated thunderstorms has left me with a near constant headache for the last three weeks which I’m sure can’t be helping matters either. Every time I try to sit and write, it’s almost as if I’ve forgotten how to do so, in that very few words actually end up on the page and the ones that do don’t make all that much sense. I can’t seem to take any pictures I like either. I’ve tried searching all my usual sources of inspiration but am still struggling to find that spark. Please do let me know if you have any tips for getting out of ruts like this, otherwise I’ll just keep waiting and hoping that my ability to write returns by itself.
In times like these it can be easy to get frustrated very quickly, and inwardly directed frustration isn’t the best feeling, nor the most productive use of time. I’m trying to avoid that feeling of letting myself down by just trying to give myself a break. Stressing over not producing my best work isn’t going to help me create anything better, so there’s no point in adding pressure. If you’re feeling like this, I’d recommend taking a step back and giving yourself some time to relax, and with any luck that creative spark will find it’s way back to you. Paint your nails, read a magazine, go for a wander, and immerse yourself in the things that make you smile. It might inspire you to do something, but if it doesn’t, at least you’ll have had a lovely day.